Watchful Guardian
by FrolleinKruemel
Summary: An insight into Haji's thoughts after he finds Saya in Okinawa and throughout the series. Bad summary, hopefully the story is better.


**Just a short one-shot about Saya's favorite chevalier *hehe* Probably not the most creative story, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless ^^**

**I don't own Blood+ of course.**

* * *

_He was always watching over her. _

Even if she couldn't remember him. Even if he was a stranger to her. He was always watching her, watching over her.

He had been so glad when he first so her after so many years. She seemed so happy and carefree. But it hurt that she couldn't remember him. It hurt to bring back those bad memories. It hurt that he had to force her into this even though he knew deep down it was _her_ wish.

And now, after she had collapsed at the school and he had brought her and that nagging boy to a safe place she was calling out to _that boy_, not to him.

Maybe he deserved this. He had abandoned her after all back then in Vietnam. Maybe he needed to let her be with the people she knew and cared about now.

But he would keep watching over her, no matter what.

* * *

_He never left her alone._

Even if she couldn't see or sense him, he was there. He had watched how that Kai had picked her up from the roof clumsily. How he had carried his precious Saya to the hospital. He had watched the building, her window the entire night, relief washing over him when he heard her voice again from outside.

It hurt that he could not be the one to carry her, to encourage her. Nothing was the same anymore. Maybe it was meant to be that way. Maybe he would have to let others comfort her.

But he would never leave her alone, no matter what.

* * *

_He was not worthy of her._

Again she had to face the cruel reality of a war she did not yet understand. Again the enemy was taking from her what she treasured – her father.

This time it was not his blood that enraged her. This time it was the pain of losing someone – again. Even if she couldn't remember the pain she had suffered over and over again. And again he was unable to protect her from that pain. It hurt to see her suffering like that again. It hurt that he couldn't do anything to comfort her.

Maybe it was just one step of the way to regain her memories. But maybe he didn't want her to regain her memories, not at that cost. Even if it meant that she would never remember him. He didn't want her to suffer any longer. He didn't want her to experience more pain, yet the path she would have to wander would bring her more of it. Maybe he wasn't worthy of her, maybe he never had been in the first place. Nevertheless he would try time and again to shield her from any pain. So that he never would see that lifeless expression on her face again.

But for now he wasn't even worthy of touching her.

* * *

_He could not make it up to her._

Again he was not able to keep her in check. It was Vietnam all over again – ironically it happened in Vietnam, too this time. First she was unable to do anything. He had to carry her through the house while they were under attack. And then she went berserk. This time he did not hesitate. He wanted to make it better, to make it up to her. To keep her from hurting any other people she didn't want to hurt. He didn't want her to despise herself because of what she did.

So he deliberately got in her way and tried to stop her. But to no avail. She was still too strong in this state. He couldn't stop her, he couldn't redeem himself. He ended up on the floor, literally and Saya only got stronger through his blood.

And then again it was _that boy_, Kai, who had the ability to stop her. His own pleading and strength did nothing to stop her. But just her name from Kai's lips brought her back to her old self. It hurt that it was Kai and not him that had this power. It hurt to be of so little use to her.

Maybe it was to be expected. She still couldn't remember him, yet she seemed so attached to that boy. Maybe he would never be able to make it up to her.

But he would continue to try. He simply couldn't give up. If he did it would mean to give up being her Chevalier, to give her up.

* * *

_He always found her._

After he fled from her in Vietnam he had eventually sought her. He had promised to her that he would always find her. When the both of them had jumped of the train to protect Riku he had caught the boy, but had lost track of her. It took him some time - not nearly as much as the last time - but he found her lying in the snow.

When she woke up in his arms it was almost like back then. Back then when she still remembered and knew him. Back then when they had been closer. Back then when they had been travelling France or Russia. She was looking at him in almost the same way she did 90 years ago. She remembered. He could see it. She told him so, too. She mistook her memory for a dream at first.

Maybe she would really regain all of her memories someday. Maybe it would work out after all. Maybe his hopes weren't as futile as he'd thought.

He would always find her, no matter what. He would always find Saya, his Saya.

* * *

_He would never give up on her._

Saya still blamed herself for Riku's death. He had watched her mourning and suffering an entire year. He never gave up the hope that she would someday overcome her grief. And even when her tears had dried and she had started to speak again he could still see her agony. But he still didn't give up his hope for her. She steeled herself, locked her emotions up and kept them hidden deep within her broken heart. She started to rely on her sword only. She accepted no other company than him. A part of him took pride in this fact. Another part of him knew that not all that glittered was gold.

It hurt to see her like this. To see her struggle alone even when she was surrounded by people that cared about her. It hurt that he was still not able to reach her.

Maybe it was the best way to end this war. Maybe she needed this to pull through. Maybe she took small steps to recover from her losses. Maybe she would be herself again when all this was over.

Whatever the outcome would be, whatever way Saya would take, he would never give up on her.

* * *

_He would always wait for her._

Finally the war was over. Saya and the remaining members of the Red Shield were safe and she could finally rest. He had not made it in time to wish her sweet dreams, but he was here now, waiting for her, as was his duty and his wish.

While she slept he would play the Cello for her, the tune she taught him so long ago, hoping that it would somehow reach her ears and her heart. It had hurt to hear her cry out for him in that tormented voice. To know that he was the source of her pain was bitter. But he would make it up to her once she woke. He would never let her feel such pain again. It was his new promise to her, even if she didn't know yet. He would manage to make her smile, without Kai's help.

He would be there for her. He would keep watching over her and would never leave her alone again. He would be worthy of her and he would make everything up to her, so that from now on she would only know happiness and peace. If they were somehow separated again he would find her again and no matter how she would be after her long sleep, he would never give up on her.

No matter how long it took he would wait for her. No more hurt and no more insecurities. No more maybes and what ifs. No more depression and sorrow. He would be there when she woke up. Her ever watchful guardian. Her chevalier. Her love._  
_

* * *

**So, what do you think? :)**


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